On Having a Bun in the Oven

NOPE! haha, nothing baking yet.

But family and the people around me want me to be already.  The hints I get…

The anti-cervical cancer shots came in handy in stalling my getting preggy for a few months because girlies cannot get pregnant while getting the shots (3 shots to be taken in the span of 6 months).  Eep, now that I got my final shot 2 weeks ago…

But I never planned on having  kids.  Ha! I never planned on getting married either (I never planned on a lot of things but they happened).  Hubby wants kids.  He loves kids.  I don’t.

Gosh, if my future kid/s get to read this, they’d hate me.  But then, I’m the type who does not really want what she hasn’t got. So it’s not like I have a choice but to love them when they’re around.

The thing is, people don’t realize that I am scared of a lot of things that go with pregnancy, childbirth and afterwards.

There’s

  • 9 months of being fat and blubbery
  • The possibility of miscarriage
  • The possibility of abnormalities
  • Back pain.  My back disorder or whatever it is may return.
  • The pain of childbirth of course
  • C section! Yaiks
  • The natural method which sounds equally painful
  • Me being sickly.  How am I going to take my meds for headaches, colds, fever, allergies then? It might affect the fetus.
  • Stretch marks and saggy skin

And having kids –

  • F and I will be solely responsible for the upbringing of the child. What if we become bad parents? What if the child is evil?  What if he/she is the Anti-Christ?
  • The poor kid will grow up in such a cruel and abusive and polluted world.  How do you protect him/her from such a world? How do you take care of a child?
  • The cost.  What was supposed to be my budget for cosmetics, prettification, fashion would go into kiddie medicine, kiddie food, kiddie clothes and lots of other kiddie stuff
  • What if the child gets sick?
  • What if the child dies?
  • What if I become a drabby mommy who wears mommy pants?
  • Stretch marks and saggy skin

Oh well, my ovaries are nearing their expiration date.  I guess I’ll have to get pregnant this year. It does make me sad to think that these past few months will be the last time I’ll see my tummy as smooth and silky.  Goodbye, flawless tummy.  Maybe my size will grow from extra-extra small to just plain small. And someday, when I’m old and fat and saggy and frumpy and dumpy and ugly and smelly, I’ll just reminisce sadly about the good old days when my ass was skinny.

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5 thoughts on “On Having a Bun in the Oven

  1. Micah says:

    I guess you’re a lot braver than I am for specifically pointing out the things that you fear about motherhood. I had a good laugh with “What if the child is evil?”. It is a possibility for me too especially since I’m quite agnostic myself

    Like

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