I’m such a hag

(…really such a B**ch-hag)

Why do people keep on pushing kids down my throat?  Don’t they ever get it? I like CATS. Dogs are cool, too.

When people shove these messy little things on my face (kiss! kiss! kiss!), they expect me to coo and smile and say ‘oh-see-the-cute-little-creatures’ (eww, see the bratty sh*t machines! says my mind). Yeah, most of them are cute… from afar…Oh shoooot, I feel like I’m going to be punished for saying this…

Okay, okay. They’re not too bad… if you don’t count the snot, the drool, the eye gunk, and all those sticky things coming out of them…

When I grow old, I think I’m going to be an old, ugly, mean hag, like that lady in Hansel and Gretel. I totally get her. I haven’t really given much thought about munching on kids but I would want to get back at them if they eat and destroy my house and stuff. Get your grubby little fingers off my shoes, you….!!!!

The next time you push your baby down my throat, I might just swallow. Bwahaha-evil-witch-cackle-cackle.

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