Sometimes my friend whom I used to work with in the Defense ‘arena’ and I would lunch together. As is most typical of those I’ve worked with previously, she’s also in graduate school and she’s almost done with her thesis. Her advisers are telling her that she’s got a big chance to bag the best thesis award but she just had to work really hard with its prettification and defense. She’s got less than a month to do so but she’s almost done anyway. I believe she’s smart and hard working enough to do it, too. But amid all this talk, she said something like having second thoughts and thinking, what’s the point to all this. So much effort for something like this. And then what?
I thought, yeah, she’s right, what is the point? You dedicate some years of your life to slave away for something like that and then what? Will it help people? Improve lives? After finishing the thesis and maybe bagging the award, what happens next aside from her thesis being stowed away in the obscure part of the library to become a dust collector?
I wonder. Her path could have been mine but I gave up a long time ago because, well, what’s the point?
It’s not just that. What’s the point to all this? Sometimes,watching NatGeo or the Discovery channel, makes me feel so insignificant. Last weekend, I got to watch something about the beginning of earth and I thought, wow, earth and eons and stuff like that and I’m just this teeny little thing trying to live a mere dot of life on earth. And when I and all others I’ve known have been wiped off from the face of the earth, who would remember I’ve even lived? Who would even care?
And then I think about all those extraordinary photographers and videographers and writers and artists who provide all that remarkable stuff in these channels and who have touched lives, and I am amazed by their talents and dedication and hard work and wonder about the lives they lead and I feel even more insignificant.
Here’s me drowning in a pool of my own insignificance. Top it all off with a quote from the Grand Canyon movie:
“You ever been to the Grand Canyon? It’s pretty, but that’s not the thing of it. You can sit on the edge of that big ol’ thing of those rocks… the cliffs and rocks are so old… it took so long for that thing to get like that… and it ain’t done either! It happens right there while you’re watching it. It’s happening right now as we are sitting here in this ugly town. When you sit on the edge of that thing, you realize what a joke we people really are… what big heads we have thinking that what we do is gonna matter all that much… thinking that our time here means didly to those rocks. Just a split second we have been here, the whole lot of us. That’s a piece of time so small to even get a name.”