Strictly no kissing and no hugging! My mom said, lest I infect the Little Creature with my cough and colds. How can I survive the day without completing my quota of a thousand kisses to the Little C? But the warning came a bit too late.
Took him to the doctor this afternoon. Maybe I should have stayed in the office and infected the difficult people instead of going home and infecting the poor Little C. The Doctor was too smart for me though. She knew the evil that lurked in my mind so she made me go home.
So now, he is coughing like a poor little pup and every cough is a blow to my heart.
He looks at me with those eyes filled with confusion, wondering why I do not touch him or carry him or go near him.
I feel like it’s all my fault. I can’t go near him and I miss his funny baby smell, but there’s nothing I can do anyway since my sense of smell has been rendered useless because of my sometimes clogged, sometimes runny nose.
He won’t be sleeping beside me tonight – a thought that would have been welcome several months ago but which I now suddenly find sad.
Sigh. Motherhood and the overwhelming and confusing emotions that come with it…