And it’s not mine.
My favorite Doctors – The Doctor and Doctor Seuss – think it shouldn’t be either.
The Doctor said, “It does not matter what you look like — you can be a hero, a fantastic person and eternally cool.”
I’m skin and bones and I’m ok with that. People should be, too. Anyway, why should it even matter?
The second time around, it took me about two weeks to deflate back from preggy size to almost normal me size, it was almost scary but still, it’s fantastic and I’m cool with that (yes, I’m humble-bragging).
I don’t go on diets. I eat whatever and whenever I want (and no, I don’t puke it afterwards). I don’t gain weight which is also a little scary. I had myself tested previously in case I had some thyroid thingie going on. But I’m cool, folks (more humble-bragging).
Whenever I wear a pair of leggings or tights, or even skinny jeans, I look like I’m channeling Spongebob Squarepants and his skinny legs. But I’m cool with that because my son loves Spongebob.
And so what? Even Dr. Seuss agrees. He said, “You’re in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.” Oh, yes I am! (now shamelessly bragging)
What’s not cool?
Those people who have issues with my weight and who keep bringing it up so I can’t help but think about it. To be fair, I sometimes hear genuine concern in some of the voices of close friends. But
–here comes a mouthful–
–for the rest of the inhabitants of this planet who can’t seem to think of anything to say because they don’t feel good about themselves and I’m bad at making small talk so I may be making it difficult for people I’m small talking with to come up with small talk topics (gee, I’m soooooo sorry) so there’s nothing else to small talk about other than my super hot and fantastic bod. If they think it is socially acceptable to say something about my super hot and fantastic bod, can’t they at least say something a little more original? or witty?
Over and over and over and over… These jokes and supposed compliments (no, I’m not flattered, but I am, yes, flat on the front) may be directed at me but the only thing they do is to draw attention to the speakers’ own issues.
- “Kumain ka naman!” (“You should eat something!”) They wouldn’t stop judging and presuming that I have some kind of an eating disorder. It’s. Just. Insulting.
- “Kumakain ka ba?” (“Do you even eat at all?”) They think I’m like that real life Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova, who claims to exist on light and air alone.
- “Kumakain ka pala.” (Oh/So, you actually eat.”) I replied, “surprise!” to this annoying sarcastic remark. Beats me why people have to be sarcastic about my eating habits.
- “Bakit ‘di ka tumataba?” (“Why aren’t you getting fat/gaining weight?”) This, I learned, is just some sort of an expression. People ask the question, but they don’t really want to hear my answer, which is, in a way, all right, because I don’t really have an answer.
- “Nakakainis ka. Bakit ‘di ka tumataba?” (You’re so annoying. Why aren’t you getting fat/gaining weight?”) Refer to #3. Yeah, I’m deliberately not-getting-fat to offend the humankind.
- “Buti ka pa (You’re so lucky) you don’t get fat. Me? I’m this and I’m that blah-blah.” This always reminds me of that scene in “Mean Girls” when Queen Bee Rachel McAdams and her minions each took turns to lament about something they hated about their bodies and Lindsay Lohan’s character felt obligated to say something icky as well, so she talked about her bad morning breath. I used to appease the whiners so I would bring up my very intricate varicose veins. Now my response is, “I know, right?”
Heed my words, people (This is me channeling The Doctor and Dr. Seuss) —
to folks, y’all: short or TALL,
BIG or small,
w i d e or narrow,
or straight as an arrow,
BE HAPPY with what you have,
And with who you are.
Make the best of what you have
and be the best of who you are.