Magazine Cut-Outs

I’ve been snipping this and that from magazine pages lately — whatever stuff I think would look nice in a bottle cap or on a domino. I don’t usually read the articles before. Usually, I only drool over the clothes and shoes and makeup. But because I have to, I began reading some of the texts.

Wow. The words, the phrases, the paragraphs, the articles — how very, ehhh, ornate. Excessively ornate, if they could be described as such. And confusing. Literally.

Use “literally” in a sentence.

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That’s from a local fashion magazine. “Literally” was literally used to emphasize somebody’s shining rockstar-ness. Literally a vague intensifier, that one. And that third sentence which literally began with “Her style…” literally feels off, as if there’s literally a word missing or, that another punctuation should have literally been used instead of a comma in the middle of the sentence.

But who am I to snootily correct a popular magazine? I’m really no grammatist. I have committed grammar crimes that would send chills down the spines of my English teachers. Plus, I literally only have two grammar rules: if it sounds and looks good, then it must be correct; and, if you’re not sure, google it. Like, literally.

I’m just feeling bitter and resentful and jealous of those who landed jobs in the field of fashion just by literally stringing 10 superlatives together in a single sentence.

I should be grateful. To be fair, the texts are over-the-top that I have literally more than enough cut-out words stashed for future projects. And also, I came up with this without meaning to — literally a wake up call.

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There’s an exacto knife. But why? It does go well with her red complexion. The knife makes me feel paranoid sometimes. It’s so sharp that it seems as if it literally has a life of its own and I’d get stabbed with it by it one day.

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